I.
((antigone))
she dreams of icarus-wings
so he paints them there
gold-leaf-feather-tips fluttering
in the slight breeze.
the waft of spice flecks mingle on
tongues as she drinks her fill of him
and takes flight.
(he tastes of bleeding heart humility,
and burning bark.)
crashing, splatting, arms wide into
the sun she goes, and fractures in
many variegated sun-shards.
falling back, he gathers her up
bearing her cuts like
fragmented window pane glass
on his own malleable body. the older ones
merely white cat scratches against his tan.
fastening her back together with an artist’s
touch, he breathes life into her again,
letting the wax drip-drip-drip in places where
their naked flesh meets.
(she feels like new trousers, taut and lax
in all the right places. she tastes like new
delphian spring.)
he craves to wed her to the ground
but one look, a small smile, has him
reaching for the paint pot again.
(he understands, memories are not hers
to keep.)
he, for all his wonders, cannot compete
with gods.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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Psy - thank you
for those lovely words
xanthan - the 'epigone' I was referring to was the 'after born', the greek expedition to Thebes written in greek myth-history. Yes, but in so referring to both the man, and the woman in this.
sarah - yep, antigone as in the daughter of oedipus and jocasta.
thank you all. guess what, there's more. I am not as happy with it as I am this, but I will be posting it.
CL
Antigone? As in, Oedipus Rex? ... Beautiful work nonetheless. Breathtaking. Except for the part about the trousers. It kind of has a comical feel to it and doesn't fit smoothly in with the rest. But that's the only wary word I have to say. Lovely from top to bottom. I try to tell everyone this, but I don't critique poetry because I am not a poet, I can't write it, I'm not any good, and so I only post reviews for the poems I like. So...good work!
-Sarah
epigone? i certainly hold you were referring to the man in the poem, and not you, yourself. most likely, as that would make sense. for if you claimed yourself mediocore i would have to protest. this is far by the best thing i've read in type in the means of poetry, of anything. outshined only by a handful of others who have struck gold on luck or those professionals of past or future - you have a great talent. in this, i suggest you abide by it and continue to produce as well as you can, whether it be up to this outstanding level or not.
wow.
so humble. Completely pure images. I love it. Absolutely.
Don't
change
a
word.